Of all the good things that come in the package that is an xtracycle, the one thing that lets it down is the finish on the snapdeck

It's a screen print on a ply deck that has probably half a lick of varnish on it. On mine, it has weathered quickly. So I've decided I want to pimp it up a bit.
So I'm thinking of a base colour, probably charcoal, and in a lighter shad of charcoal using the space to have a vinyl letter slogan put on from the local sign place, then clear coating it for durability.
I just need some input for some slogans.
I thought "Weapon of mass congestion" would have a good traffic feel to it. Then there is alos the ol' chestnut, "Burn fat , not oil."
Anybody have any input here?